When you’re children are young things are so easy, mean everything to them, they still look up to you, and want to be just like you when they grow up. Then something happens, it sneaks up on you in the middle of the night. Suddenly you wake up one day, and you’re not the “cool” mom that you used to be. If you’re not prepared your relationship with your teen can get very difficult. Raising a teenager is hard work, but there’s also so much good that can come from it. Raising a teen can be hard work, a very emotional time in both yours and your teen life if you let it.
Now, I’m not saying everything will be perfect. It’s likely that there will come a time that being in the same room as your teen will be a struggle. Chances are you will get your feelings hurt, it’s hard not to. However there are things you can do to stay close to your teen. Here’s a few things you can do to keep a good relationship with your teen.
Remember – You were a teen once, think back to your teen years. What were things your parents did that you appreciated, and what were some things you wished they would have done differently. It’s important that we take the good things our parents did and use the, and try and correct the things they did wrong. We’re human, raising children is hard word.
Allow them their time – Part of becoming a teen is spending time in your room, drawing writing, rearranging, etc. It’s all part of it. I’m not saying leave them in there for days on end, but do allow them their own private time.
Let go a little – This can be one of the most important things you can do, yet one of the most difficult. We as parents know our children are not ready to face certain situations without our hand, but we have to let them learn and experience things on their own. It’s our job to protect them, now they want to do so much more on their own. It’s hard to let go, but we have to allow them the chance to grow. I’m not saying they shouldn’t have rules, discipline and chores. Don’t cut the leash and let them run free, but loosen up enough for them to make mistakes and experience things on their own.
Respect – It’s important to respect your teen and their reputation. You remember being a teen, it’s all about your reputation. Respect their reputation. If they ask you not to hug them in public don’t. I know it’s hard, but their reputation is important to them. Not to mention if we do something that’s not cool while they’re in public it can also cause them to get picked on. It’s sad but true, so in the end you could be saving them from being called names too. If they ask you to do something, or not to do something respect it.
Hang out with them – It’s okay to flop down next to your teen with a bag of popcorn and watch some teen drama show, and not make fun of them. I know from experience, this one can be hard. However, if we want to hang out with our teens we cannot poke fun at everything they like. We too have to be open to what they like, and the little person they are becoming.
Talk to them about what they like – If you want to keep your relationship with your teen you have to know them. The only way you’re going to truly know them today, is to talk to them today. Talk to them about things they want to talk about.
Learn even when it doesn’t interest you – It’s important that we listen to our teen, even about their teen drama. Listen and care, regardless of what you think about the situation don’t put hem down or poke fun. They are telling you because it’s something they want to talk about, and if you plan on keeping an good relationship with your teen communication is important.
Support them – It’s human natures to make mistakes, it’s how we learn and grow as an individual. Don’t get upset with them for making a mistake, it’s not going to help. You’ll get a lot further showing support the, help them understand that we all make mistakes and the importance of learning from the many mistakes we make in our lives.
Love them – Show them you still love them, you are proud of them and who they have become. Yes, even if they dress a little crazy, lol. (Sorry I had to toss that one in there, don’t tell them that of course, I would not be me if I didn’t say something to break the seriousness.)
In the end our little babies are turning in to young adults. It’s important that we respect that and treat them accordingly. In my opinion being a parent to a teen takes learning how to find the balance between being a parent and a friend. We need to understand, listen, and communicate as a friend would but still protect them and point them them in the right direction as a parent. We have to find out a way to influence them and their choices with out pushing them away.
All children and teens are different and respond to different things, these are a few things that have helped keep my daughter and I closing during some major changes. So what are some tips you have to share? I would love to learn more about what you have done or are doing with your teens to keep your relationship strong.